2016

This is pretty much a delayed post. Usually I would have the inspiration to write this right before or after countdown. Well, I haven’t been finding time to sit down and just consolidate my thoughts. And yes, the promised travel posts still have yet to come to past. I shall not make more false promises on that. Anyway yes so 2016… it flew by so fast and yet there were so many things that took place. I went to read the post I wrote at the end of 2015 and I said that “courage” would be my word for 2016. I think it was indeed the word for it. Courage. I’ve been pretty bold in my decisions and choices. I’m not a very decisive person but I guess the courage I have this year has helped me a bit.

I’ve been bad at letting go. This year I did it, by His grace. It’s always difficult to make that decision to “unlove”. Yea that word doesn’t even exist. I told God, “I don’t want to love again at the expense of myself.” I wanted to be selfish and just focus on myself. Ok, maybe not entirely selfish, but just learn to love myself more. I don’t think I did that very well but I’ve become a lot more secure than before, knowing that it’s not always my fault when people don’t love me back. It’s not always my fault that people choose to leave my life. At this point of time…I’m faced with a similarly tough decision that requires courage. Will my love be treasured or will it be thrown away again at the end of the day? It feels surreal to have someone who would reciprocate in the same way. And yet..there’s still a barrier to overcome and a lot of faith and prayer is required. I deserve the best….as He would say to me.

This year has been exciting. Went through a period of transition from school to work, had added commitments in ministries. Faced all these with laughter, pain and tears. Was really tough at some points but I also realized how tough I am. Thank you all who have been with me through 2016, the good or the bad, even those I have lost in the midst of everything.

2017….I pray for a smooth transition into work. I can feel that this is a year of new things, new hope, new visions. I don’t really know the word for 2017 yet. It’s gonna be challenging, with a lot of getting used to. I don’t know what holds ahead…..

I’ve been revisiting on the tabernacle again…not exactly sure what God is telling me through it. I need more time in His word, in having conversations with Him but I don’t want it to happen through a crisis or challenge. I want it to be a habit, a lifestyle.

2017
-learn cooking
-write my own devotionals
-be more consistent in recording
-be in my full potential
-continue to love, forgive and trust

So I was reading my past posts and found this conversation I recorded.. (paraphrased)

“Can I don’t love people?”
“You can…but you will realize it’s not you so you will still love them”

Is love still the best choice?
If so, help me Jesus.

This year, let me be the best for You.